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This news is late in coming – at least online – Ursula and I are getting married.
For years, I’ve asked myself the questions: who will I spend my life with, and how will I know she’s the one? These are common questions, and important ones, but I’ve been learning about a different one: what will spending my life with someone be like? For me, asking this question led me to answer the others. Our friendship grew until we began to see and want what companionship would be like. It was the little things as well as the big ones: not having to say goodbye at the end of the day, cooking and sharing our meals, taking walks and time to pray, keeping an apartment clean together (and a cat), taking turns freaking out about our dissertations, or just being near each other as we read and work. God said it is not good for humans to live alone, and so he created community. How do I know Ursula is “the one?” I’ve begun to see what sharing a life with her will be like, and it is very good.
If you’ve been following this blog, you won’t recognize me, so let me introduce myself. My name is Aaron. I moved into the Lotus House at the end of summer and am writing from my hunter-green room on the third floor. My full-time occupation is graduate student and I am starting on my dissertation in the same program with Alden at SLU.
I came here knowing about the community and agreeing to the rhythm of life here but not fully understanding what had brought this group of people together. One thing that I am learning is that being in community takes what is ordinary in each one of us and amplifies it like a megaphone into something extraordinary. Community is where a person can grow into an ever-better version of himself. It takes love, the ordinary sacrificial kind, where the well-being of others becomes a central concern in one’s own life. It confronts you with yourself and challenges the idea that your life is about you. It’s not easy. Have you noticed that God doesn’t seem particularly interested in making our lives easier for us? It’s like he knows something we don’t. And he draws us towards a life that is not easy, and not safe, but is good.